Shattered Silence

Hello everyone!

I've sat on this for a while now, but it's time to open up about the damage it's doing to me.

I'm done with the warnings now, you should know about the tone I can take when things are going not so great.

We'll they're not going so well right now...

Why?

Remember when I told you I met up with Paul? Well his reaction has become a thorn to me, ripping and tearing at my spirit. It's broken it in fact. It's my own fault really, I took offence at being told what I was told. 

Apparently I am in denial too? Well blow me down, you try living my life, a life where you're minding your own business living your life for God and then along comes the most amazing young woman I have ever laid eyes upon to throw the most delightful spanner in the works. I'm starting to wonder if the reason why God gave me this girl's name, was because He wanted to do something great through an ordinary Joe like me.

Yes, I cry about this. I cry every day because there's no way on this earth that I wanted to receive this particular name this year. I was content knowing that she was coming, yet now I'm about ready to give up completely on so many things!

I can't really go into why on here, because there's a lot more going on than my feelings for the most amazing young woman I have ever seen go. So as Shakespeare wrote in one of his plays:-

"There are more things in heaven and on earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Horatio."

I don't know why God gave me this girl's name now, after 7 years of waiting,  7 years of searching after Him. The only thing that I know is that I have to keep seeking Him as the future of my family that I've not yet had but have seen depends upon it!

That's all for now!

Peace out!