Hey everyone!
Wow! It feels like absolute time has gone by since my last life update and in fact, I suppose it has.
It's been a usual time of jobsearching & when not doing that, as you can imagine, I've been preparing for my new "Faith Filled Fridays" on this blog, which has sapped up more time than I expected. Put it this way, not a day goes by where I'm not wondering what to put in these brand new broadcasts & who knows, one day maybe I'll turn it into a fully fledged podcast.
But that's another thought for the future...
For now, I'm still jobsearching which has thus far been fruitless, but it's not stopping me from flinging application after application to agency after agency in the hope that one sticks.
You've got to think of it like throwing a hundred balls over a sixty foot high fence; you just have to keep aiming and throwing, aiming and throwing in the hope that one finds its way over the fence.
My last interview? January, so says it all really, doesn't it?
I think if anyone had a right to be down, it was me.
But I know beyond a shadow of a doubt now that I cannot afford to stay down because of my recent struggles with depression I've already covered on here. If I'm being honest that was not a recent struggle, it's one I've had for a few years now and until I was willing to admit it, only then could I begin the road to recovery.
I haven't been to doctors, I don't need them. There's only one Surgeon I need right now; God!
To some that might be wishful thinking, but I know from my experiences these past few weeks that He has been helping me through this period like no doctor ever could and I do not need to turn to pills. God is in whom I trust for TOTAL HEALING and He's been bringing it to me one step at a time, one day at a time and that is more than enough for me!
The Battles I Fight
The problem that I face lately, on and off, thankfully more off than on, is that every so often I get hit with a bout of malaise really tries to suck me down the proverbial rabbit hole... what gets me about all of this that it keeps coming back to one question: -
How did I end up here?
Not here as in Littlemoor, where I live, but living the life I live. You could say I've become a master at covering up how I really feel, until recently, when I've been reminded of a lot of posts I've made on this blog that include the fact that I am today as a direct result of all the choices I've made to get here.
I don't know why this malaise chases me so sometimes, because I don't have a bad life. I have friends, a warm bed, a roof over my head & food in my cupboards. It's just that sometimes I wonder just how my life would have turned out had I made different choices such as not leaving IBM when I did.
It's a dangerous road to walk, doing that, because you start doing the dance with regret that leaves you wondering if you could have had a "better" life if you'd only made one or two choices differently. I just find it hard sometimes to stop that voice that leads me down the road to self-analysis because it often makes me wonder if I'd be a better person today.
Why? I'm not a bad person, anyone you speak to who knows me will tell you that without blinking an eye. I'm sure we all struggle like that sometimes, thinking we're not the best role models we could be in life.
But that's life.
We're human, we make mistakes.
I Have Bounce-Back!
I'm just glad for an Intercessor at the right hand of God: -
Earlier there were a lot of priests, for they died and had to be replaced. But Jesus’ priesthood is permanent. He’s there from now to eternity to save everyone who comes to God through him, always on the job to speak up for them. Hebrews 7:23-25 MSG (emphasis added)
This way, I know that it is not about how badly I've failed or what I've not done; God looks at me through the eyes of Jesus!
That's the same for each and every one of you who come to the Father, through Jesus.
My identity is not mine, it is found in Christ!
So I need to rise up and keep rising up, to show that no matter how many times life knocks me over...
I... will... keep... getting up again!!!
Keep bouncing back, bro's, no matter what you're going through, you'll make it through to the other side as long as you keep putting one foot in front of the other!
Peace off!
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| New logo imminent!!! |
#Overcomer
#thecreamalwaysrisestothetop
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