Why? Because my little 'crush' situation went, to be completely honest, a**e over t*t.
I told you in my video that I'm back and if you for one minute think that I'm going to let any more head-space get rented out to that situation you're wrong, DEAD WRONG!!!
Strong Words Form a Stronger Bond
Let me kick this one off, seeing as I've taken quite a strong reaction to it, by saying that I will do my best to put forward my case for attending a church regularly.
So let's start at the beginning then, shall we?
1. Going to Church Creates a Rhythm
Have you ever noticed that there can be events that will define your week?
I'm talking about the sort of events that happen once in a while and they are that strong that, regardless of what else happens in the week, that will be the one event that defines how your week was, whether it was good or bad.
There's a reason that I've taken this approach; because on 1st December, I was told by the wonderful young lady that she "doesn't like me that way".
I've just one question for you, my dear, with all the greatest respect intended: -
Whatever happened to giving someone just one shot and then deciding what's the crack?
I'm p***ed off and upset right now, there's no use denying it because that event came along and side-swiped me more suddenly than a teleporting assassin appearing to make his kill!
So, back to point, the event you choose can set the rhythm of your life!
I clearly let that one event back at the start of the month define my life and change it in such a way that it will clearly define the direction that I am going to head in for next year.
Before someone thinks this is a hate campaign against this person, it's not, it's simply a recognition of how hard that I hurt by the words that she spoke to me. I don't even know if she realised that they went in a bit like this scene from Kill Bill Vol. 2: -
Watch that moment where Uma Thurman's character, Beatrix (or better known as simply 'the Bride') is blasted in the chest by Michael Madsen's Bud.
BOOM!!!
That is the sort of impact her words had upon me when she told me the fateful line that she "didn't like me that way".
Sure I messed up by admitting a little too keenly that I wanted to get to know her better, but what else could I do? I like her... a lot!
Are you seeing why I've chosen that clip? That was the single moment, coupled with my reaction to it, that defined not only that first week of December but is bleeding over into today!
Surely that's not right, brothers and sisters?
Surely I should be looking to God for guidance?
But what if the guidance I got told me to chase her in the first place? Why should things play out like this?
I don't know, I don't like that I don't know and I'm p***ed off that I don't know!
My focus should surely be on getting back to a church.
But how can I attempt to return to a church where the young lady herself is? Every time I see her, I relive that clip from Kill Bill above! I feel a kick to the 'twins' and a twist to the heart as those words wrench at the new hole in me emotionally!
Does that make me an emotional
2. Going to Church Sets the Thermostat for Your Week
I could reference the above incident from earlier this month and use it to say that not only has it well and truly knocked me off kilter, but it is in danger of threatening to derail my future. I WILL NOT LET THAT HAPPEN!!!
I've got a really significant event coming up next year, God has told me that much and it's going to surprise quite a few people because they will never see it coming!
Right now, like my good friend Peter told me, this current setback is simply "a setup for an even greater comeback", taken directly from a Lakewood Church Facebook post.
So I'm clearly not running at full efficiency because the backfiring of my crush has taken me offguard, knocked me off my 'A-double' game to the extent where everyone who's seen me knows I'm not doing that great.
What do I do?
I take my focus and my crush back to the cross, back to the place where it first came from and admit that I cannot do it anymore, I cannot deal with these strong feelings where for the first time ever, my head and my heart were singing off the same bar of the same page of the same songsheet for her.
I'm hurting, that much is true, and now I've poured out my pain in the public domain, this will increase the exposure to the whole world.
You know what? I don't care anymore, if it helps just one person see that their issues can either define them, or they can break them and yet still inspires them to keep on going, then great! Mission accomplished!
So what this means is the fact that part of me died today, as I learned to finally let go of trying to make something happen with her. It was an equivalent to saying that she was "just somebody that I used to know" all in the hope, with all the greatest respect, that it somehow absolves me of the responsibility of making anything happen!
"Let it happen naturally" they said!
Does that even make sense? I just didn't want her to think I was trying to force something!
Run hot or run cold, depending on what happens to you, but what I'm getting at is that when you're at a church, you have your focus set in such a way that you see things as they really are, not as events tell you that they appear to be!
3. Going to Church Ignites You to a Higher Calling
This is the main point that I need to focus upon because I've lost my ignition with this silly crush completely renting out my entire head- and heart-space!
It's my own fault really, I didn't suppress every thought like I am supposed to: -
"We are destroying sophisticated arguments and every exalted and proud thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought and purpose captive to the obedience of Christ." 2 Cor 10:5 (AMP)
See? That's what I haven't been doing as vigorously as I should be!
I tried it and, in fact, last week made a great success of it, I pretended that my crush was playing out just like that film "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" where Jim Carrey's character decided it best to eradicate all traces of his girlfriend from his memory, before realising just how much she meant to him when it came to removing that last memory.
I don't mean this disrespectfully, because take me for example on my placement as a driver's mate for the Sanctuary Trust in Rochdale, I could not be thinking about a certain young woman whilst carrying heavy furniture into someone's house in case it frickin' distracted me to the point where I dropped it, HA!!!
Well, I hope that's my case put comfortably across why it is imperative for you to attend a church regularly.
I just need to take my own advice because I did not go to church today!
May it be a sad, sad day when someone distracts you to the point that you can't bear to be in the same room as them!
Watch the skies, bro's!
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