Hey everyone!
We're into the second week of the year now and I've just finished a short course on jobsearching skills and, whilst I think initially it was rather pointless and a waste of my time, the truth of the matter is that this is a side-effect of walking with what I am walking with at the moment.
You all know my story by now and I've posted some very, very strong content on the subject of anxiety and depression but only now am I really starting to see just how much of myself has been affected by dealing with this for as long as I have...
A Contradiction in Deeds NOT Words
The saddest fact of all is that people around me that I thought were there for me have retreated into a position where I cannot count on them any longer. It happens. It's not an insult, it's just a fact of life.
All I know is that living the life that I have chosen to live where every day is, if I'm honest, getting harder and harder to even get out of bed until noon, means that I just have to believe that change is coming, breakthrough is coming and I just have to be ready when it does.
I'll tell you a few things that my battle with depression and anxiety won't stop me from doing: -
- It won't stop me talking to God;
- It won't stop me reading my Bible; and
- It won't stop me blocking out time in my day for praise and worship.
What it will stop me from doing is trying to stay in touch with people who just don't have time for me anymore. Why should I try to spend time with people who repeatedly make excuses that they have no time for me?
It's as simple as that.
The busyness of lives (as I've covered already in my two part post) can only go so far as a reasonable reason before it starts becoming an inexcusable excuse.
Me? I've got all the time in the world for the people in my life who actually are here for me!
I think it's time that I continue to make the necessary changes ready for the culling that's to come in March. Thankfully there's not too many more names to delete from my phone contacts now that I've decided over the last year or two to periodically delete numbers that I have no use for.
It's not an insult; it's just a fact of life.
If you have no time for me, I have no time for you.
Final Thought
I know this is quite a brutal approach to a subject I have often talked about on here, but sometimes you have just got to face up to the facts that sometimes, people are only as ineffective as the words they say and the actions they don't back them up with.
In a disparity such as this it pays to be always aware of the people in your life that actually are here for you because these are the one's that won't back away when it gets too intense for them, when you get too intense for them.
I'll never apologise for who I am, I just don't ever want to take for granted the people that have been with me through thick and thin whilst I've been battling through my now medicated phase of this walk.
Remember, we are all on a journey so let's stay on it... together!
Peace... and duct-tape!
=== TLP ===
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