This is the final posting in the Creative series, and to be honest, the last posting in a while on this particular theme as the course finished tonight.
What would cause such a reaction I hear you ask?
Let me say that tonight did not at all go according to plan.
Whose plan? My plan.
In short, not only did I not make the grade but from what I can see right now, I did not make it by some way through reasons which I'll try not to go into in too much detail to protect the privacy of what went on in the one to one session.
In light of recent events and postings involving choices and how we react to them, I see that I am clearly left with no option but to either decide to react positively and use these comments (some on the face of it rather superficial but that is to human nature by instinct!) as a further spur digging into the horse of destiny that is forever leading me onwards towards that which is mine; my future.
To be told that maybe you're not meant to serve in this capacity is downright disheartening to say the least simply because it is not true, bull's buns and goes against what I've clearly been told by God! >:(
But it is merely one more hurdle I have to evolve past (a term I've come to grips with as opposed to letting things fester inside). Secondly to have your whole appearance questioned with regards to how you look on stage is also a shot to the heart, again I have the choice to rise past this.
You have to remember at this point, or not it's your choice (ED - I see what you did there!), that in order to represent a church front-of-house you're right in the frontlines so there's no room for either a rabbit in the headlights, or a person who on the day maybe didn't pick the right choice of clothing!
Finally, I hear talk of not being in tune and maybe being a little under-prepared for one section of the song and it drives the nail in the coffin for me.
Effectively as of here on out, the 4th of July 2014, I am hereby temporarily suspending my hopes of getting involved with the worship team there whilst I sort some things out.
I still serve on the Resources team and know that tonight was always going to happen like this in that I'd already done the performance so whatever damage was done had been done then and in the build up to this evening.
It does not make me question my ability as a guitarist because I am far better than even I thought I was at the start of this!
Instead, what it does show me is just how far you've got to go to represent a brand like !Audacious and be part of a front of house element, which clearly is not for everyone.
Right now, I'm in that group.
I have to be realistic and accept that because it's happened, the milk is spilt on the shirt but I'm not gonna cry over it, I'm gonna clean it off and keep on going for the haters be hating no matter where you go and what you do.
In light of recent posts, however, I fully understand and accept that my response in all of this has to be key to prove that I'm not a hypocrite who's unwilling to listen to his own advice. I know there is a struggle ahead between feeling like you've missed the grade by some margin and feeling like "that be just another hater just waiting to hate".
So the challenge here is to rise past the thoughts of a superficial nature and right now let me be honest THEY ARE STRONG!!!
But unlike a certain person who's famous speech started "I have a dream", I have a C-H-O-I-C-E!
Final Thought
As fed up as I am with missing the mark like this, I just know that clearly means that if I want to persist with this idea of representing a brand like this front of house is going to mean a lot more in-house upgrading and learning, which I'm all for. Just for now I'll have to think if that's a path I'm willing to follow any further.
World renowned preacher, Creflo Dollar, once said on a preach I listened to recently: -
"In order to get the prize at the end of the course you have to FINISH the course first!"
Many a true word, huh?
I look at it like this, if that be the truth in terms of serving like that at !Audacious then fine, it just clearly means that my boundaries are going to be pushed so that I evolve to that level only at a different location.
What I mustn't rule out though is that God often has a funny way of working out any situation for my good, so whatever happens from here on out it's clearly going to be better than it is here!
Don't get me wrong I'm not quitting the !Audacious life, there's not a chance of that in this moment because I know what rash decisions can do; leave lasting consequences that damage not only you but also the generations after you.
So, in closing then let me say to you that I fully accept that there were things I maybe didn't do as well as I could have, but also I'm going to rise up above and past these comments because that just means I'm not quite ready to receive the prize; because I haven't finished the course yet!
Whatever you do, keep doing it and have fun!
#liveandloveaudacious
Peace out!
No comments:
Post a Comment