Hello everyone!
Well, I made it through yet another Valentine's week single, which right now I could not care less about because I've got enough on my plate than moping around bemoaning my marital status.
What I'm going to be looking at today, in the wake of Valentine's week, is the fact that we should never hold our friends so dear to ourselves that we cannot bear to let them go. Some are meant for a season, some are meant for a trial and some are meant to drift away.
Which of those responses you accept and which you don't are of no consequence to me, I want to spend some time looking at the friends we have to let go of whether we like it or not...
Friendship for a Season
I already looked at what having a Friend who'll never leave me actually means to me. I'm revisiting this one final time before I move on and I must say that, even though it kinda hurts a lot right now with the amount of people I'm losing touch with, in the end I know that it will all be for my benefit.
Coming up next month, I've got my yearly purge of my contacts where I will be taking an open and an honest look at who is present in my phone book and will decide whether they actually deserve to stay there for the coming year.
To "deserve" it, all that is required is any or all of the following: -
- To be in touch with me regularly;
- To make time for me when possible; and
- To prove by actions not only by words that you are "here" for me
Sadly, there comes a time in everybody's life where you start to realise that you are becoming like the company you. Worse still, in my opinion, is when you realise that you need to upgrade the quality of the company that you are keeping in order to make it to your destiny.
The risk here, as with any relationship, is to open yourself up to being hurt and, sometimes, to be hurt grievously. That happened to me enough over the last six to eight months that I started to realise that I would have to take care of myself better instead of putting other people's needs first all of the time.
I believe that my life is not just about me, yet at the same time I consider it vital that we keep our eyes focused in the right place so as to be aware when our own needs are being neglected. How we do that can be anything from regular self-analysis checkups, to creating a prayerful awareness within ourselves to identify areas that are holding us back in our development.
However, there also comes times where we have to let go of those closest to us in order to run with greater freedom the race that has been marked out for us.
Leaving for a Reason
My mum spoke volumes to me when she told me earlier today that I need to "kick into touch" the people that haven't been here for me because she can see that it's hurting me a lot to keep myself connected to them.
This is the wake up call that I needed, if there ever was one. I've been unsure about who to put on the list as some of these people have been very close to me in the past. Yet I knew that, thanks to that wake up call, some of these people are starting to become a toxic friendship to me.
Don't take this the wrong way, I don't mean it that way, I just know that God told me that offences will come (Luke 17:1) my way. All I have to do is hold myself responsible for what I do about said offences.
First off I have to forgive them, I simply have to because I too have been forgiven (Ephesians 4:32)!
Secondly, I have to make that conscious choice over whether I will let the offence stop me, now that I know these "stumbling blocks" will come.
In all honesty, I have gone through my contacts this week and set up flags by the ones I will be deleting come March. Naturally, I wish them well for the future, it is just a fact of life rather than an insult that their time with me on my journey has come to an end.
It's been hard as I do struggle with unforgiveness every day, after what has happened to me. I just have to keep reminding myself that they are forgiven just as I am forgiven. I cannot keep rehashing what happened over and over in my mind because that allows bitterness and resentment to take root.
It's not easy, nobody ever said it would be easy because we are called to love one another with no strings attached, no preconceived ideas and certainly no expectations beyond what they can deliver.
They are only human, after all.
This is what I have to keep telling myself every day because otherwise the offence creeps back in and tries to twist me up into a fashion that I am not ever meant to be, let alone carry.
Final Thought
As I wrap up today's quite sombre, realistic post, I want to share something with you that I learnt a long time ago, without the likes of which I wouldn't be where I am today.
A man reaps what he sows, more than he sows, later than he sows.
So let me encourage you that, regardless of the offence you might have faced or be facing today, you have to transcend it all. This will allow you to get to a place where you too can say "yes they hurt me", but you can also turn it around and say "but I won't let it hurt me anymore".
Peace!
===TLP===
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