But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23
Hello everyone, it's Valentine's week and I hope you are all feeling suitably mushy!
I'm going to continue where I left off yesterday by continuing to look at what love is to me so if this challenges some of your perceptions then good, I've gone and done my job.
Let's move onto the fourth and final part...
Meekness & Temperance
Now there's a couple of words I bet most of you have never heard of let alone used before!
Seriously though, folks, these are two words I think that, once we grasp what they mean for our relationships, they can grease the wheels of friction and conflict and help us move into a better and a healthier place.
First up, a definition of meekness: -
Patient, long-suffering, or submissive in disposition or nature; humble
Those are some words that are likely to rile some of us up the wrong way, especially when we are in a dispute because we never like to admit when we are the one that is in the wrong, do we?
Yet sometimes, that's what we have to be prepared to do in order to pave the way for true healing to begin from hurts caused either by poorly timed words or poorly executed actions. The easiest thing to do here is to blame the other person as though the entirety of the fault rests with them.
Sometimes it does, but does that mean that we are never at fault in our lives?
Who do we blame when things go wrong?
When things are not going according to plan, are we liable to lash out and blame the nearest person to us? Or are we going to be constructive in trying to find a resolution to whatever difficulty that we find ourselves in?
It takes a very brave person to admit when they are in the wrong.
Secondly, let's take a look at temperance: -
Temperance is defined as moderation or voluntary self-restraint. It is typically described in terms of what an individual voluntarily refrains from doing.
Consider here what it means when you don't make that cutting remark when somebody does something to upset you.
Are you taking the higher road?
Are you refusing to stoop to the level of vindictiveness you might think that their words or actions deem necessary?
Or are you simply showing restraint that you know you could hurt them, but it would serve no purpose either to you or to them to do so?
Either way, you might just be showing signs of maturity. It is not about being walked over like a doormat, but about recognition of which behaviour needs to be called out and which doesn't.
One tip I'll give you as I close off this series aptly titled "Love Is" is the more that you feel like going on the offensive when somebody offends you, do the opposite and take a step back.
If it's not possible as you live together then simply agree that you see the potential for an argument dangling in front of the two of you and decline it. It might not be easy when the other person is looking for that fight or that argument, but once they see that you are not taking the bait it should start to disarm the situation gradually.
Don't swear by it. It's just a suggestion, but I have certainly found the first half of my suggestion effective in helping me to see situations for what they really are and as a result have enabled me to start to make the necessary changes.
Final Thought
In closing, let me assure you that I want the best for you when I talk about these things and I just hope that comes across without being condescending or judgemental because I know what that feels like to have your words and actions judged without people taking the time to see your side of the situation.
It happens. It just life.
In fact, like my favourite wrestler Eli Drake likes to say: -
That... is not an insult; it's just a fact of life!
Remember that the next time you are tempted to get offended by somebody's actions or words. You don't have to, you can react another way you know by showing temperance and a good dose of meekness. Even if you do feel like that saying is true that the meek shall inherit the earth when the strong have finished with it!
Peace!
===TLP===
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