LS020 - As the Crimson Rain Fell

Hello everyone!

On Monday, I finished my Bible reading plan so have, apparently, finished reading the Bible over the last eight or so months... go me!

Anyways, today I wanted to take a look at how my focus has been impacted by the events that I've been through since 2018 started.

Let's go...

The Crimson Rain

As you can tell from some of my recent posts, my content has been a lot more religious and that is nothing I shy away from because my header makes it fully clear that I'm "fully devoted" to God, even though I'm not perfect.

It has cost me contact with some people and yet has opened up avenues of contact with others that I never expected. All in all, I can only say it's a good thing that things have happened the way that they have. I've been on medication to help with the worst of my depressive symptoms now for the last five months and I have really started to feel the benefits as I no longer feel like an emotional yo-yo, compared with how I used to feel.

I've been taking a long time to work out my next steps as far as church is concerned. Learning, as I have done recently, that I spend so much time focusing on meeting the needs of others than my own has meant that I've been trying to give from an empty cup. Therefore, looking after my own needs has become priority number one for a time now. How can I represent an unbiased Kingdom with a universal love if I am all drained out from giving so much to the people that are in my life?

The people in my world need the best possible version of me that there can be in this life because, to quote Morrissey: -

"You're gonna miss me when I'm gone!"

To do this I'm going to have to behold my Saviour's face that little bit more each day whilst my balance is reset and my mental order is restored back to the last known good configuration. I've dialled back the number of devotionals that I spend time with in a morning as it was starting to spiral out of control becoming a distraction away from scripture instead of to it.

I never claim to be perfect.

I never claim to be right (though it just so happens I am, usually, most of the time!).

I only claim to be real.

In fact, as one of my favourite wrestlers, Enzo Amore, likes to say: -

"Badda-bing, badda-boom, realest champ in the room"

A Real Cost

When people talk to me, they get real. When people talk to me they get the genuine article. I've learnt that some people don't like that because with real people you cannot be fake, as faux is exposed by veritas.

Being real comes with a cost, a high cost, because it will cause you to be shunned at times that you need to be accepted the most. But I remember that it's okay, because God saved me nearly twenty-one years ago now and I will never be more grateful than it is humanly possible for me to be.

God is my ever present help (Psalm 46:1).

God is my Light on a darkened path (Psalm 119:105).

God is my Treasure (Matt 6:21).

You see, regardless of how circumstances might have branded me last year, God is now worth far more to me than any relationship that I could ever hope to desire on earth.

That is not an insult; it's just a fact of life!

Final Thought

I only have to look at the fact that Jesus bled for me on that cross to see that, as the crimson rain fell, He was dying so that I could live again.

Christ was losing His life so I could find mine in Him.

Christ was giving His life so that I could receive mine whole again.

He did the same for you too!

Peace!

===TLP===