This is a strange one, because it was not something I was intending on posting on, given that my last postage was regarding how much I thought CoD sucked ba!!s only to then state my case in what I look for in a good game.
This one on the other hand takes on a completely different turn for it's hollerin' out there to those that long for a relationship...
If you've clicked through then good for you, I hope I can offer words of substance from my fountain of knowledge. In due course, you'll see it's not XP I draw from, just my own theories.
Relationships
So, relationships, who'd have 'em right?
That one was just to test the waters to see where your interest lies and I gather that if your hair prickled like a cat at the mention of that style of question I've disagreed with you, right?
Take for a moment the desperation stink that emanates from someone longing to get in a relationship and they don't care who knows it.
Is that attractive?
HELL NO!
A man, or woman, surely wants someone who'll love them for who they are and not try and push their own desperation onto them.
It reminds me of the "nerd stink" that was in epsiode six of season twelve of The Simpsons called "Bye Bye Nerdie" that I watched some time ago. Lisa discovered that there was a scent nerds gave off when in the presence of a bully that alerted them to their presence let's take a look...
"I have isolated the chemical which is emitted by every geek, dork, and four-eyes. I call it "poindextrose." - The Simpsons S12 E16
Only this time, it's not the smell of a nerd that's turning someone off, it's that of a desperate man or woman! - DON'T BE THAT PERSON, BRO'S!!!
Someone once said (alright it was said by Kelsey Grammer in an episode of his long-running sitcom "Frasier") "love the person, not the ideal" and I know for a long while I did not even think of doing that in my own personal ideal as I sought out my own special someone. He then goes on to explain that Niles should love Daphne as a person not as this ideal that he'd created and placed her upon a pedestal for nearly nine seasons.
That always struck a chord with me because it made me see that, as much as I believed I was going to find the most perfect angel in all of the world, she was actually going to come with flaws of her own.
A flawless diamond in the rough she would most definitely NOT be!
It then got me thinking how often I'd shed tear upon tear upon tear over the lack of relationship that has blighted my life.
Now here comes the bombshell... I have never had a girlfriend, bro's!
Nope, there's nowt "wrong" with me, despite those sneering looks I can see you're creating as you read this, I've had better things to do than to get unnecessarily tied down so early and for all the wrong reasons too!
I swear that the only way a ring would make its way onto my finger was for all the right reasons, not because I've bonked her silly and am "making an honest woman" out of her because I've got her up the duff before tying the knot... OH NO, NO, NO!!!
Whilst I don't know what that's like to see the love of your life light up when she looks at you, I do know that one day that will soon become reality.
You know what, it made me sad inside and dying a little each day emotionally to think that I was some kind of social pariah always destined to be on the outside looking in. Crucially this was a reaction spawned by years of rejection upon rejection in social circles, a lot of which I made more of than it actually was.
What I Did
Simply put, like the Creed song goes...
I realised I'm "entitled to overcome" these feelings of guilt and of failure at not being able to nail down a relationship of any kind (don't let that confuse you with the fact that I have friends aplenty, ta!). It was a long and lengthy process, but "with God's help I know I'll always be near to ya!" as Morrissey sang.
Why do I know that?
He gave me the vision of the sort of life I'll be leading in the future as a family man and I firmly believe that with every fibre of my being and it's all I can do to remind me that it's futile going back to those old ways of thinking and behaving. Sometimes I came off like a right royal pain in the a$$ claiming that it was 'my birthright' to have a girlfriend and that if He promised it to me He should just go ahead and give it me.
The reality? I just wasn't ready yet!
I've been through the highest of highs (all legal I assure you! :-P) and the lowest of lows as I've seen person after person get into relationships only to fall out of them again and fall back in them again. This gave me cause for concern because some people use the arms of another to run away from the real issue that's controlling their every waking dark dreams. You know the sort, they're doing an activity that is just enough to distract them from the real pain they're feeling.
End Result
The end result is that I am so far above and beyond the sort of person I was back then that not only reeked desperation but emanated it as well. What this did it drove off any potential suitor getting me to realise that I was doing more harm than good claiming to myself that I needed to be in a relationship to feel complete or a sense of accomplishment.
BULLSPIT!!!
"i am what I am" as the song goes and I will make no excuses for it both now and forevermore and I got two words for her if she don't like it; "good-" "-bye"!
Never again do I allow myself to be so consumed by this obsessive search of mine instead choosing to believe it as the inevitable aspect of my life that it truly is. I believe that, in the end, it will resolve itself simply because I'm putting my trust in Someone who has a track record of perfection and zero losses, so I'm on the winning side there then, bro's!
Final Thought
My final thought then, as Monday beckons, is to all you singletons out there looking for love like me, don't put all your eggs in one basket and imply that there's "someone for everyone". Instead, broaden your horizons and realise that you actually have a pool of talent to pick from, some are bang tidy (yes I did just use that phrase!) and others are just, well, average. The point is, you have to realise that you are better than you think you are and remember the title of one of the Arctic Monkeys' albums "Whatever People Say I Am, That's Exactly What I'm Not".
I know where MY trust is, do you, bro's?! ;)
But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourself this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord." - Joshua 24:15
Until next time...
Peace out!
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