Here we go!
Time for some powerful stuff, bro's, I hope you're ready for this because it's time for me to light the blue touch paper and run!
The particular journey that I've been on (ED - which TLP has left no stone unturned on here for his faithful, or otherwise, readers) has led me to some very interesting conclusions this week...
My Devotion, My Portion
Firstly, my thoughts of abandoning my church attendance are only a natural reaction to what is going on at the moment, because what is going on at the moment quite simply scares the bejeezus out of me. I'm travelling down a road that I've never before been down, or at the very least not been down this far.
Secondly, just a couple of days ago, God not only came and sat down upon my circumstances again (ED - I'll see if I can get him to open up about that at some point!), but He also gave me my job title within the ministry that I'll be starting.
You might remember a long time ago, I talked of Qatar & how I felt somehow called there at some point. Since then, I have come to realise that whilst that may still be possible, but it is the here-and-now I must be focusing on, just like Matthew writes in chapter 6: -
Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.
Yet here be I crushing on the most amazing young lady that I have ever seen, lol!
I did well, didn't I? Even got through a few paragraphs before mentioning it!
What I'm getting at is that I realised that the more that I focused on God & the things of Heaven, the more that He will be able to do for me as my trust will be unwavering and not "double-minded" like James warned about in his second chapter: -
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.
#BOOM
Need I say more?
I realised that as God effectively chastised me for the way I was toeing the line of faith and doubt, I was in fact becoming double-minded on the inside with my faith & when that happens you can be sure that you will become unstable on the outside in your actions.
What is the one thing that I have asked God for during this period of trial & testing?
Wisdom.
The body of knowledge and experience that develops within a specified society or period.
So, with that being said I started to wonder just why I was finding it hard to speak to this person. I mean, I'd already made one new friend who's female this year, have other wonderful female friends at church and my past Life Group leaders were two of the most amazing girls I could have hoped to be led by.
So why the silence? Why her?
Watch this.
My dad came over on Wednesday evening and something he said effectively confirmed that maybe, just maybe, Heaven wants me to remain silent for now, knowing that I'm petrified I'll say too much too soon.
For now.
I mean... the concept of an angel in human form is too much for many people to handle!
#BOOYA
Final Thought
So getting that straight, I then realised that where I was heading was clearly going to be a direct threat to enemy territory.
That's right, I said it; a direct threat to enemy territory!
If I'm going to be building a ministry that is going to change so many lives in God's Name then surely that's only natural that the enemy tries to stop me!
This would explain why, up until the past two Sundays, I had lost my corporate praise voice!
Peace!
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