We Receive Your Rain

Hello everyone!

It's the weekend so I hope you're all having fun because I am!

I've got my phone fixed now, yet strangely enough, I'm enjoying these trips to the library more.

In other news, my computer is being repaired (ED - finally!) so in the coming weeks expect to see a rebooted version of my weekly devotional programme where I'll continue to be working my way through scripture and seeing what I can learn from it even in my current situation.

Before that, though, I have some more pressing issues that need dealing with...

We Receive Your Rain

The reality is, as I am sure that you are aware given the brutal honesty I've been taking lately with these posts, that I am trying to make sure that my eyes are fixed on the things of Heaven right now, whilst God works things out however He plans on doing that.

What keeps me going is that He knew I would see someone and fall so very hard for them nearly two years ago now, He knew it would test the bejeezus out of me so much so that I often think about running away from it all, and He knew that this too shall pass, just like He told Mary when she advised of Lazarus' condition in John 11:4!

The reality is that it was the rain of God that was supposed to flow as, instead of a sick man getting well, it was a dead one that rose! :-O

You see, sometimes that is what is supposed to happen with our dreams; they are supposed to die on us so that God can prove Himself All Supreme and bring them back to life to prove Who's really in control!

I've shared on here countless times my own personal journey looking for a love that lasts, how it's challenged me and, more importantly, how it's changed me into the man I am today.

People could argue that I'm still only young at 35, but the reality is that with the experiences that I have had, I often feel like I'm a helluva lot older than that, which is why I think people say that I have wisdom beyond my years when they talk to me. I don't mean to be like that, it's just the way I've responded or had to respond to things that have happened to me.

I'm not blaming that, I've learnt not to do that so much this past year and just get on with it. Sure, it doesn't make things any easier right now with my crush but the fact of the matter is that God approves me even though I'm finding it really hard to be at church right now.

I'm still going.

I'm just finding it hard to be around, well, you-know-who. People tell me it will get easier with time, but here I am, almost two years on and I'm not sure if it ever gets any easier than this. Not when I've poured my heart out on these posts wondering if they'll ever get read one day by the woman of my dreams.

God knows.

You know what?

That's enough for me, for now, for today.

It has to be or else my gaze gets arrested from ever returning to my Saviour to wait for His rain: -

Final Thought

This is a longer post than I intended, but hey, I guess that just means I had a lot that needed saying today.

If you pray, could you do me a massive favour and remember me in your prayers because I'm trying to keep my eyes on the things of Heaven right now, whilst God goes to work behind the scenes, I'm trying but it is getting harder and harder to not explode with the feelings that I have for this person.

We shall see if they ever come out!