I was expecting to be posting this later on this week, but I just feel that hitting a purple patch in terms of posting, this needs to go up now.
I've already spoken in the past about having that greater bounce back than your current circumstances expect you to have and I am finding it more and more apparent that I need to keep moving forward, to put aside the rejection that I've been holding onto since a certain person said what she said to me, and to keep heading forward.
If it's meant to be, it will be! ;-)
There are people out there that need me and whose needs are, arguably, greater than mine...
So Self-Focused You Don't See Straight
Have you ever found yourself feeling so broken, so lost and so helplessly alone that you often wonder if there will be any hope for you?
I can testify to that at times and it usually comes when those dark clouds of depression try their very best to circle around me and hem me in.
But as anybody who knows me can tell you, a man is often very dangerous when he is hemmed in!
In my case, it is like I feel a fire that I will get back up no matter how many times that I get knocked back, knocked down even. I've had job interviews that went nowhere, know all too well what it is like to be told "unfortunately, you have not been successful on this occasion" that it can try its very best to define me.
But I have to, at some point, stand up and say that I will not put up with it anymore because there are people out there that need my help... well, alright not my help per se, but a direction towards a Greater Spirit that can help them no matter what ails them!
POINTING the Way, Not Leading It
'Why let my worries steal my day?'
This line has just come on from the American band Creed singing "The Song You Sing"...
Do you see that? Why let the troubles that are weighing heavily on your mind steal anything from your day? I've done that so many times with my crush it's un-freakin'-believable!
Let me get it out of the way right now just why...
For so long I was wrapped up in what other people would think if they found out that I was crushing so bad on someone that it was beginning to feel like I was holding an ever-increasing perpetual flame inside me keeping me warm at night and giving my joix de vivre an extra spring in its step in the daytime!
I was so concerned over what they'd think that I started to convince myself they would probably go and tell her just how much I was crushing on her, because they knew her and I knew they knew her!
Isn't that silly? Being so consumed and concerned with the 'what if somebody found out?' coming straight out of a guilty conscience and a guilty mindset!
Now, don't mistake my usage of the word 'was' there, my feelings have not changed one iota, what I have decided to do about them has...
I knew it wasn't healthy to hold on so tight to all these feelings I have for a relative stranger I was trying to get to know for so long. I mean, when it impacts your attendance at church you know you need to get some personal things sorted because there are clearly issues under the surface.
I'm glad to say that I've been able to pick up on those signs, sometimes too late whilst at other times precisely on time, that I've been able to do something about it to get me to where I am now; better able to face down what I've got to in order to get to where I'm going.
Banned for a Reason
The next point I want to make is that, being currently under a self-imposed social media ban of all forms for one whole calendar month, I am able to reset my compass and make sure that I'm following God when all is said and done despite how I may feel about this person.
The heart has a way of blinding us to what's right in front of us and leading us down some very wary and precarious paths that we would be best making sure we are always heading toward our destiny and not away from it!
Now, there may be moments when it looks like we're facing away from our destiny, like now for instance, but I have to rest not on what I can do about it, but on what Christ has done for me!
It is in the act of that crucial resetting of the configuration of our mindsets that we are then better able to see straight going forward that we are able to become everything that God has created us to be and embrace, maybe even absorb what happens to us to greater effect.
Yes, we all have problems and I am under no illusion that all I face today is a drop in the ocean to some people, but having no relationship experience means that I have to make sure I tread so very carefully going forward because God wants everything that's good for me and nothing that's bad!
It's not to say that nothing bad will happen to me, that's life, it inevitably will happen, but what I'm saying is that God's intentions to me are always, ALWAYS a good thing: -
You are good, and You do good; teach me your laws. Psalm 119:68 (CJB)
So, that being said, it doesn't really matter how I feel about this person because if it is meant to be if it's "written in the stars" as they say then it will be, no matter what comes up against me!
If not then, watch this, God clearly has a better plan for me!
WOW!
#BOOM
Final Thought
Whether I'll come back to this subject a third time this week is an unknown as yet, I just want to be as transparent as possible when it comes to facing down my crush and living my life as best an example as Jesus would have me be in everything!
Let me ask you, as I close off another post today, if you are heading in a direction that you are happy with?
If so, great!
If not, can you do anything about it?
Can you change your outlook maybe because, chances are, how you think things look, they really are not that bad!
Peace out!
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