...Then I Would Not Go Forward

Why is the Lord bringing us to this land only to let us fall by the sword...?" Numbers 14:3 (NIV)

Well, I certainly got a lot off my chest didn't I yesterday!

It's been something that I have really, really wanted to post because of how I've struggled these past few weeks to deal with my own personal feelings of inadequacy and intimidation when I'm around a certain person.

I've already admitted to you that I'm confessing my weakness in writing about this on my blog but do you know what? I don't care!

Taking Myself Too Seriously

It's about time people started seeing the real me as someone who likens himself more to this song right now: -

I may have shared this one with you recently, but seeing as my journey is just as much in music as it is in the words that I am surrounded by, I thought I would share it with you again.

"Take me down, take me down, Davey Jones yeah, take me down"

That's how defeated I have become, ready to give up and walk away.

Yes, I admit it, I still think about walking away altogether, I think about it probably more than I really should.

Why?

I don't want to say all that I am feeling to this person all at once because I want to see where this road is going, as it is a road that I have never travelled before. Yet I'm scared like never before, intimidated even, by what's to come!

This is why I have to remember verses like this in my current situation: -

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for Thou [art] with me; Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me Psalm 23:4 (NIV)

A New Focus, A Renewed Perspective

I just know that God is doing something and He has instructed me that, no matter how hard I or other people try, I cannot escape this road that I am on because it is indestructible and linked to me reaching my destiny.

I know right now that there are people around me that are not fully getting this and that's okay, because this is MY path that I HAVE to walk!

Why? Because this is the direction that I am heading in!

So is it any wonder that the enemy wants me to pack it all in and leave !Audacious altogether? He knows and he is threatened by where I am going and, therefore, what I am going to do when I get there!

If only the Israelites thought along the same lines as then they would not have spent the 40 something years in the wilderness going around and around the promised land!

God's plan was always that they would reach their promise, so what better way for the enemy to stifle it than to try and come against the people that are clearly going somewhere.

Watch this then... Satan would not be fighting me so hard if I did not know that my future bride was at !Audacious!

How do I know?

Come on, mooks, I've already told you that God specifically told me she's there! ;-)

But seriously, now, it's only natural for someone to get intimidated by what they are facing, especially when it's of a certain size!

Final Thought

Next week I'll be finishing off looking at the account of the Israelites' dalliance with doubt and unbelief before taking a look the week after at Saul and his ill-timed gesture for David to wear his armour going into battle to face Goliath!

So that's a sneaky-peek into what's coming up on "60 Seconds of Faith" and you cannot say that you have not been warned! :-P

Peace out!