Dear me!
What a day I had yesterday...
The first Sunday at church where we have four services, that's right, four proving that, as a church, we are headed in the right direction.
If you build it, they will come!
Plus I got to exchange a high five with a certain young lady and got the most amazing smile that I have ever seen in response... like EVER!!! :-P
Just thinking about her makes me go crazy, lol, but seriously, I wish it was as simple & excitable as that but to be truthful I'm really not feeling "on it" today...
Because it Makes Me Feel Alive
I know you are probably going to want to know why and I'm afraid I cannot go into it in full detail because it belongs in my journal as it concerns my crush.
Stereophonics once wrote a song with the line "I love the crush it makes me feel alive" and, honestly? I wish I could say that it did all the time make me feel alive. The reality is that for every interaction that I have with her, I pay the price afterwards as I find myself longing for more than a smile, more than a high five, more than a hi...
The truth is that I'm facing up to a lot of awkwardness with this because, every time that I see her, it is triggering with quite some volatility every possible reminder of just how much that I like her. Last night, I saw my chance to interact with her, I took it and got a smile that made me go completely la-la!
For me, when some people smile, you get it that they're happy. But when this particular young lady smiled at me, it was like her whole face lit up, like, literally, with sparkles on top! :-P
I'm not saying anymore about this encounter today because I'm clearly under severe attack from my enemy who wants to keep me discouraged because of the agonisingly slow progress that I seem to be making in approaching her.
I need to get back to my journal, fast!
God, I don't know what you are doing right now but it scares the living daylights out of me!
Final Thought
I know that I've crossed a threshold this past three weeks as my feelings have increased, and it is getting harder & harder to breathe around her without spilling that I like her.
Dear Lord in Heaven, I don't know what to do about it, you know? Apart from tell her!
Shock, drop & awe!
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