Hey everyone!
I'm certainly hitting a groove, aren't I, with these posts?
You know what? I don't care, especially as I'm in that good a mood!
I know you're all wondering why, especially with my obsession with posting update after update on my crush, so I'm going to tell you...
Jesus Be Lifted Higher
No, better yet, I'm going to show you: -
This song has become something of an anthem to me now, especially as it says the simple line that Jesus is to "be lifted higher" even over our own circumstances and when we do that, guess what? We are lifted higher!
Seriously, I'm not kidding you, the more & higher that I began to lift Jesus' Name above my crush, above my lack of a job, above everything in fact, He in turn began to raise me up!
I know I managed to get through my depression posts without mentioning it, but the reality is that I am in this situation, so of course I'm going to talk about it!
I am going to write about it too and, more importantly, I'm going to see where this road takes me and in all honesty, I could quite easily today put it down once and for all and just walk away having not said a single word to her about it!
No, I'm being serious here, deadly serious!
I could just as easily let her go and be happy on her own, without letting her know that I am super interested in her!
I bet you are all wondering just why on earth I would do that, after writing about it now for nearly two years...
Simples.
God.
God is my reason!
No, I'm not saying that He has told me to let her go, just that I have fully let the situation go into His hands now so if He sees fit to weave the two of our paths together then awesome!
The reality is that, right now, I just need Jesus and nothing & no one else: -
You see, as much as I like her and I clearly do, right now I would rather have Jesus in my life than a girlfriend.
It doesn't define me, not being in a relationship, I don't give it the right to define me as 1 Corinthians 6:12 says: -
“Everything is permissible for me,” but not everything is helpful. “Everything is permissible for me,” but I will not be brought under the control of anything.
What it does do is cause me to face up to the fact of all the difficulties that I've been having were down to... yeah, as if I'm going to put what I discovered on here from my journal; some things belong in my journal as for mine & God's eyes only and this was one of them.
It doesn't change the way I feel about her; like somebody has jammed a big wooden stick into my paint pot and mixed it all up, flinging paint everywhere & I mean everywhere, if that even makes sense! :-D
And Now?
I'm a firework now, soaring through the heavens ready to burst open into full colour display!
Don't mistake me into thinking that I'm not going to tell her, just that it is now completely, totally, utterly down to God's timing when it happens: -
This song's just for her today.
It's from Jack Johnson a guy I rediscovered on my phone & remembered instantly why I like him. It's also a reason why I need to keep writing songs; to keep my musical project alive that I one day intend to give as a gift to whoever I end up with!
Meantime, I just have to listen for the call.
If I have to spell it out in black and white, I could not give a... DAMN if you don't agree with the way I write so openly & freely about this, it is indeed my life & if you are not out of my way, then you are in it!
I said to a friend that I would go through anyone to see this through and I meant it; through anyone!!!
Final Thought
In letting go like this, I cannot wait to see what happens now, what God does with my life. I am the hood ornament for it and the more He continues to work through me & consume me, the more people are going to see me as I really am; on fire for God like never before!
What you have to do, then, is to offer up your life to God, all of it and watch what He will do with it. I did nearly twenty years ago this June & I have never been the same since.
Come and go off with me & let's see what happens together, shall we?
Peace!
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